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Thursday, February 01, 2007

perhaps the more that you trust that your soul is intact and free of the unravelling snarl of sin and disobedience,
the more you are in need of the grace that is not your own.
such are the little ironies of attemped self-sufficiency.

now i am meekly in search of vulnerability
(which i once possessed, resented, dismissed, and now want to reclaim)
i realise i have to stop thinking that i'm strong and all,
but to let go and smell the roses of life.
that its ok to say how i feel and to share.

i used to ask those annoying questions of rhetoric -
how much do i mean to you? will you forget me? will you remember to call? will we change?

all these unanswerables:
crusted with clouded emotions and tears.
perhaps it was better if i had ignored them,
the way you do - impassive and impregnable,
how did you learn to handle absence,lost love and pain,
writhing and squirming in-between your fingers?


and in the light of this:
all my words, the expanse of vocabulary, the lilt of phrase, the hopeful analogy, the metaphor
- they all come to nothing. absolutely nothing.


posted by sharonk on 4:39 PM