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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

did my quiet time today..


well.
was just praying bout my future...uni...and all that.
and Romans 12:1-2 just came to me.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --his good, pleasing and perfect Will."

wow.
for many years i've been grappling with my desires and probably what God wants in my life.
i've come to a conclusion:
"i don't follow the dreams God has put within me is because i value the approval of others more than i value the approval of God."

I know God has a plan for me. a perfect and good plan, not one to harm me, but to cause me to prosper....
so, how do i know what is THIS path?
a cosmic vending machine that spits out my life path with every step that i need to take?
i guess not.
But i know there is a God who says that if i seek and delight in Him, he will guide my steps one at a time, giving me the promptings and desires needed to go where He wants me to go, even though it may seem at the time that the road He has me on, goes nowhere.
that's faith, right?

my Alevels was a slap across my face.
the one thing that never failed me --my supposed 'intelligence' failed me.
it brought me to a new low in my life that i've never thought would happen to me.
i guess. i was intentionally resisting putting God in my plans, into my studies, into my decisions.
and i guess, i gotta suffer the consequences of underestimating my God.

jinny was saying, "stop fighting, and start relying..God never intentionally puts you thru stuff that He does not intend to bring you thru..."

i really wanna learn that.
i'm just so so tired.

i want to use my talents to serve God and i want His favour in my life, rather than either blindly plowing through every door that comes my way, or being paralyzed by a fear of making a mistake and dropping out of the view of God.

well i know the joy of the Christian life and the peace that passes all other understanding, and it only comes when we are living a life consumed with a desire to display the glory of God.

i'm learning..learning..

I want to seek God's approval and not man's.
cos,
without a deep desire to delight in God in my daily life,
i'm living my life as an idolator merely disguised as a worshipper.

posted by sharonk on 3:17 PM