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Tuesday, March 21, 2006
man. steven just told me that his friend's mum just passed away.
though i don't know him personally, ive heard steven tell me bout him.
so yeah, was like, shocked when i heard.
sigh.
life's too short.
made me think about my parents, esp my mum.
made me realise that we're not very close.
my choice? - i guess.
i don't want to wait till the day comes when i dont have her around then start to regret.
[ i can see jinny shaking her head. she thinks i regret too much and its bad, cos i get depressed. haha]
well.
i think i'm morbid.
i'm afraid of getting close with people.
not that i'm anti-social or anything.
just that, when these pple leave,
i get so so devastated.
i tend to think that the pain wld be less, if there are less strings attached.
morbid?
sigh.
another reason why i dont wanna go aust,
what if something bad happens back home??
but sometimes, being away is good?
i don't have to learn to deal with things.
a recent eg wld be rachel dying when i was in london.
yea, i was sad. but it wld have been worse if i had to take her out and bury her.
maybe i'm just trying to escape the inevitable?
sigh.
just heard frm mum that my grandparents are both not doing very well.
sigh.
i'm just sad. sad to see my mum so crushed and down lately
i can't imagine should -THE- day come.
[i hope my sis is back, she's closer to my mum ]
i dont know how to comfort my mum, cos,
i think i made myself to be unfeeling?
not wanting to feel - thats my problem.
afraid? very.
sigh.
smu's having their interviews starting next week.
my friends have received the call.
i didn't.
so depressed. really.
is it really gonna happen?
i'll be heading to aust in july?
sigh.
hey,
come back soon ok?
need u to tell me everything will be okay.
cos frankly, i'm barely holding up.
ROS:
glad u received the card i sent.
i miss u lots la.
we have to do our rituals soon.
x)
be with me
posted by sharonk on
3:17 PM